I am dealing with a lot of pain right now. I don’t know what the reason. It could be the screws or how missed up my leg and foot is. I can’t see a PT to help it but I got to do my Pt all by my self. That’s is very hard for me to do it. I having a hard time wanting to write cus, I am dealing with depression. I am hope get that fixed soon when, I see my PDOC. I also, dealing with a lot of weakness in my leg. Sigh
I have been not feeling ok for couple days. I best to sat is that, I am depressed but its more a mixed episode. Its more depression. Anyway, I took a walk with my Son to Whole foods. Its was a nice walk. Wife sent me to get few things and it was hot out. We went to starbucks to get a cup of water. It tasted good. I not sure if, it was cus, we were thirsty or it did taste good.
My leg been hurting and Its like its always some kind of pain and I hate that, I am always in some kind of pain. I need to find a foot doctor so, I can better. I also should start to do some PT but, its so hard to do it all by my self and this is hard for me to deal with. I mean, i feel all alone with this. I want someone to be here to go through this but, i am mostly me. I hate it. Sigh. I walked today like, almost 3 miles.
I had a busy day. I went out to help my wife. I took the bus to Bank of America and I had to wait a while for the bus to show up. Anyway, When I got back. I only had for few mins like, 20 mins. My doughtier grandmother sent a box for her birthday and had some money for her.
She wanted to go out and get a Build-A-Bear.
At the time that, we left the store. I was like limping badly and I didn’t want to make her birthday trip bad. I just pressed on. My amazing wife, saw it and wanted to go home but, we stayed little bit more.
She got few things to eat but, they walked and I limped around the mall. I didn’t bring my cane. So, I had to suffer for little bit. Took the bus home and when, i got home, I rested and iced up my foot.
While i was limping around. I was depressed cus, how slow and how i am suck no fun when, i am like this. I feel like a bothersome.
On the 26th of Feb.- well, I got up later today around 9 0’clock. I did go to bed late cus, I was doing some house work before I go to bed.
Anyway, for the past 6 day that I haven’t been writing. I have like lost all passion to write here. It’s like, I write not so good and seeing people don’t read it makes hard for me to write. I know I use this to track what I go though but, it’s depressing when you see (no comments and hardly any likes, followers)
I want to make changes in myself, I want to have a look and be happy how, look. Hard when you see your self fat and ugly. I want to have this kind of body. I hate being around 230lbs and that’s what I was last time I weight my self. Now I could be bigger. (Sight)
- The kind of body I want to have
Anyway, I been doing more foot lifts. I started day before yesterday. I did 100 on the 25th and didn’t yesterday and only 50 today. I need to crack on t. I also noticing I am gaining muscle or swelling on the front of my leg. You can see.
On the 20th of Feb.-
I got early this morning, (Yep, 7Am) Gosh, i hate getting up eaily in the morning. I just like just once for me to get up when, I want too not when, alarms or when, the kids get up. Its would be nice to be able to sleep just, when my body says so. I say to my self that, I haven’t gotten much sleep as, I need.
30 Day Sleep Track
We walked to shopper’s and that was like 2 miles there. We went shopping but, cus we weren’t walking home but, talking a cab. I walked around with a cart so, I thought, I could do some walking. I mostly ride the scooter cus, i need the rest walking home. I know that walking a lot is too much.
Something happened and we needed to walk home. (SMH) Well, walking home, and I was pulling the black box that we use to bring stuff back from shopping but, ised my cane. That hurt me in the end. Anyway, we walked another 2 miles home.
We had to go some where later too.
We had lunch and than went out and walking where wife had to go. that was like an mile.
I walked with kids to whole foods and see if they had what my wife wanted. Took some nice photos.
On the 10th of February- This is going to be a short post. Anyway, I been lacking in my keg works. I did a some today. It was all inside the house. Even, i do it inside. I just feel like, I am not really working out cus, I dont get the very tired and pain feeling from when, i go to PT.
I just dont understand it. I i’m just not pushing my self hard for me to get that but, I just dont know but anyway. When, I finish with the workouts I did. My ankle had like a spider black and blue.
On the 7th of February-
9:49Am) I had only had like 6 hours of sleep. I stayed up late and that was bad. When, I woke up my leg was ackeing. Like, omg and I couldn’t sleep cus of it. I hate it.
7:21Pm) Just got back from the Food Market (Shoppers Foods). I don’t know why but, when I walk out my house, I walk more different. It’s is so much more harder for me to walk.
I really hate hills. I mean really hate them. I mostly stay inside so, I don’t have to walk up and down on hills.