(Dec. 30, 2014) -Days 56

I am so unhappy. The only thing makes me happy is m&ms and ice cream. No more ice cream and running low on m&ms.
Wife went shopping to the giant that’s close by. We could even walk to. I during to go out and get out of this funk. I hate feel all the time sadness. I got jealous of her. I know it’s me and it would take forever to walk up their. I would cus I can’t stand. I wanted to go to the front office so, I can see something different. Get a free coffee and write on their computer.
I don’t want to go alone. So, I stayed home. I just stayed in bed all day. 😥. I hate it. Lucky I can write on here.
   I want to do so much and I can’t. My legs hurt and I bother people about it. I keep hearing it your fault cus I was on the phone when I walked across the street and got it by a car. I know I shouldn’t been on the phone. I wish I could vent my pain and anger. I get so bothered so easy and depressed.
    At times I wish I could sleep all the time cus, I forget I’m real or in this world when, I am sleeping. No one understand it.
    I try to do something and walk some where. I get shipped back to the bedroom. Ouch.
   Without taking pain meds that, I take hot baths so, pain can go but it always comes back. So, I vented good for today.
   Also, family is in new York and no phone call or a text. Ouch. That shows how much they truly love me.


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